Sitting next to my MIL in the plane, I showed her this collage I had made some time back and asked her what was this all about. She took about three minutes and then said “One of those people, I recognize as myself”. I am like “Really, who are the others?”. She recognized two more as her daughter – Sharmila. She could not figure out who the rest were!!!

I really wonder who has been doing all the drinking – my MIL or FIL 🙂

Needless to say, all of the pictures are of Sharmila. With her different hair styles over the last 15 years!!!

No sooner had we settled down in the Emirates Lounge in Washington DC airport, than my MIL went around milling where all the food and coffee was. I was sure she was hungry but her biggest constraint was to check out the food when nobody was around. (She has no ability to converse with all those folks trying to help her out due to the language issue).

I could see she was surveying all the food and was trying to figure out what to have. And that is when one of those ever helpful Emirates employee showed up and started asking her in local English if she could help.

It was a sight to watch. MIL did not want to be rude but she absolutely did not want to continue with any conversation. Normally, I would step in and explain to her what she was being told. This time, I just decided to let her be and get some experience in the fun of traveling. And this particular experience was certainly a lot of fun to me. All the statements from the helpful lady was met with vigorous headshaking by my MIL. She kept up with her firm smile though.

Then she put in quite some food in her plate and came back to her chair. You could see it in her eyes that she was panicking. She finally settled down in the chair next to me, put her food down and asked me “Ki niye elam re”? (“What did I pick up in my plate?”) 🙂

I was not going to let her off the hook of having fun. So, I said “Kheye-i dekhun na” (“You wont know till you eat it”). You can see her struggling with her food in this picture 🙂

Reminded me of a very old but very funny Haggar The Horrible cartoon. The first picture showed Haggar’s domineering wife (Helga?) and certainly not the best cook putting some food in front of him and patronizing him about food wastage. “Waste not. Want not”. She said. The next picture showed Haggar trying the food. And the last picture showed him pushing the food away. “Want not”, was his memorable response 🙂

I was in India for one of my quarterly trips to India to check on my dad. Of the two or three days that I spend with him, one day – sometimes only a few hours – is dedicated to my inlaws. On April 2nd, 2013, following the pattern, I showed up at my inlaws’ house (they had no idea I was in India) with my brother and brother-in-law after about three hours of drive at about 7 PM and said – “Let’s go out for dinner”. After getting over all protestations from my mother in law that we should eat at her place, we landed up at Peerless Inn in Durgapur.

Around 9PM, we were done with our dinner (actually, I remember having a lot of great appetizers that my friends in Peerless always make for us) and settled down with our wines (“we” means all of us minus my mother in law, as you can see in the picture in top). The topic went to the concept of mortality and why giving time is far more valuable than giving time. I think we were talking about grandparents and their leaving their wealth for their grandkids instead of their own kids. And I, predictably, pushed them to give time to the grandkids and quit worrying about giving money.

It was then that I had dropped the question – “Why not visit us in Atlanta?”. There was less than zero chance of me succeeding. My father in law was pushing 80 (he is the oldest of my parents and in laws). My mother in law has enough physical challenges. And I did not think Sharmila would relish giving up her independence for a long time. (Indian parents visit for at least three months and I am never at home to give up my independence, anyways).

I did not succeed, as predicted. But I did make a dent. Everytime I met them or talked to them, I encouraged them to think about the fact that the only thing finite is time.

Well, eventually, they got their new passports done, their visas done and visited us – exactly one year later than what my original proposal was (which was summer last year).

On this last night in US for them, as I tucked them in their bed in the DC hotel and went down for a nice gin and tonic, I started looking at the pictures I took of them during their stay (attached a couple in the bottom). There is a marked difference in their smiles

And that was my whole goal. To make a difference. In a small way…

Sitting by the Potomac. You can see the Washington Memorial and the Capitol in the distance on the other side.

We were still on the ground. And the nice air hostess comes around asking if she could get us a drink before we got started. FIL immediately responded “some red wine, please”. I was, like “Whoa! Easy, Speedy Gonzalez”!!!

So, I told the lady “He means he will have it when we are in the air. He is fine with his water for the time being “.

He was not particularly happy with that interpretation. My MIL, on the other hand, totally approved!!! 🙂

They are busy discussing about all their experiences in US this time. He is remembering each and every new friend he made during this trip. She is remembering all the food she ate at different restaurants and friends’ houses!!!

He is taking it pretty hard. Before getting into the car at home, as I was busy putting in the suitcases, he slowly walked to the car door with his walking stick and then, before getting in, took a long look at our yard and his favorite sitting spot and said “Bye, bye pool”. 🙁

First leg – stay over tonight in Washington DC to catch the flight to India early morning tomorrow. The inlaws are very impressed with the arrangements made by all airlines to help people who cannot walk easily…