My New York flight to Atlanta finally took off at 12:15 PM (original time 7:59 AM). I was chatting with the lady sitting next to me who was equally tired and frustrated. Found out she has been in Georgia all her life. We started talking about my travels and the topic of India came up. Then I made the following ill-fated attempt to explain “Holi” to her…

Me: “Did you know tomorrow is ‘Holi’ day in India”?
She: “It is a holiday in India?”
Me: “No, no, no. Tomorrow we celebrate Holi in India”.
She: “What does Holi stand for?”
Me: “Well, it is rooted in Hindu mythology”.
She: “Oh! you mean it is a ‘Holy’ day in India.”
Me: “Yes. No. Yes. Oh! Boy! It is a holiday in India because we celebrate Holi which is a holy event for us. BTW, you are really confusing me now”.

She: “I am the one confusing you? So, anyways, what do you do on your Holi day?”.
Me: “Well, we buy colored powder. Lots of them. And then also mix colors with water to make colored water. Lots of buckets”.
She: “Why would you make so much colored water and powder?”
Me: “We throw them at each other”.
She: “What?”
Me: “We throw them at each other”.
She: “Why?”
Me: “Because it is holy to do so”.
She: “Don’t get started again”

Me: “Okay, Okay. The celebration is all about throwing colors at each others”.
She: “Your friends?”
Me: “Yes. And also any random person on the street”
She: “Even if you do not know them?”
Me: “Even if we do not know them.”
She: “Old people?”
Me: “Sure”
She: “Kids?
Me: “Of course”
She: “Cows?”
Me: “Yep. Cows are holy”.
She: “Again, you have started?”
Me: “Oh! sorry!”

Me: “So, that is the whole idea. We throw colors at each other”
She: “Nobody gets mad?”
Me: “Some do”
She: “Don’t they yell and scream?”
Me: “Yes. So now we carry guns.”
She: “Like in Texas?”
Me: “No, no. I mean water guns. Like our kids use in the swimming pool. That way, we can throw colors from a distance and run away”.
She: “What if they can outrun you and beat you up?”
Me: “For them, we have water balloons. We throw from a safer distance”.

She: “Good God! The whole country becomes crazy, huh?”
Me: “Yes, that is because we also tend to have bhang on that day”
She: “Bhang?”
Me: “Leaves of cannabis”
She: “You have cannabis?”
Me: “Some do”
She: “Like in Colorado?”
Me: “No, I think in Colorado, everybody does.”

She: “So, you still did not tell me what is this festival all about”
Me: “Well, you see we have a lot of Gods”
She: “So I have heard”.
Me: “One main God is called Lord Krishna. He had colored Radha with ….”
She: “Radha being his wife God?”
Me: “Ummmm… no, I think Radha was his uncle’s wife”
She: “Why was he putting colors on her?”
Me: “I think he was in love. He married her later.”
She: “You think?”
Me: “No, no, I know”

She: “So, let me get this straight. Some God was trying to marry his uncle’s wife. So, you guys get high on cannabis and throw colors at each other. Yeah?”
Me: “Something like that.”
She: “And the country gets a holiday for that?”
Me: “I told you it is a holy day”.
She: “Again you started….”
Me: “No. This time you started”
She: “That’s true”…

It is at that point our breakfast arrived. This is well past 1 PM, mind you!!