We had an extremely funny stewardess on our Delta flight from Chicago to Atlanta last evening. Anna seemed to have a slight East European accent and she kept us entertained throughout the flight with various chit chats. Some of her announcements had us in splits. A few of them I had heard before but a few were unique (or at least first time for me).
Here are some that I can remember…
Initially, we were taking a little time to get everybody settled down and there was a long queue of people inside and outside the plane as people were sorting out their seats. Anna came on the PA system and went “People! People! People! We are not furniture shopping here. No need to spend time choosing your chairs. They are all the same. They are blue!”
Finally, after the doors were closed, she announced “The doors have been closed. We are ready to push out. If Atlanta is not in your travel plans… well, now it is!”
Sometime later, she went “Delta has four of the world’s best Atlanta based stewardesses”. And then she added “None of them are on this flight…”
During the safety instructions, she explained how to inflate and operate the safety vests. “And after you reach the shore, the vest is yours to keep”, she explained further!
After landing, she announced “Our pilots are excellent in flying airplanes. But they are terrible drivers. So, please stay seated with your seat belts on.”
The best was for the last. The plane slowly rolled up to the gate and then came to a halt. Usually there is a ding you hear after that and that means you are ready to get up and move around. However, in that split second of pregnant pause after the plane came to a halt, she came back on the PA system and with the grave voice of a court bailiff solemnly announced “All rise!”
Most of us stayed seated laughing our heads out.
Well done, Delta and Anna! That made the flight really enjoyable!
That grey suitcase you see being loaded onto the plane has had a traumatic day so far. First, we were booked on Delta flight 2449 from Newark that was to leave at 5:41PM. By the time I was done with my meetings today, I realized that I could skip lunch and catch the earlier flight or stay put with my original flight. Called up Delta and the lady said she could put me on an upgraded seat on the flight leaving at 4:20PM. Skipping lunch it was!!
Checked in my bag at the counter and settled near the gate. The plane was there. The bag was loaded and we were waiting to board within a few minutes when it was declared that one of our air hostesses was sent to JFK by accident, (One of these days, I want to be sent somewhere else by accident by Delta). In any case, it would be at least another hour and a half for the air hostess to find a route by road to our airport.
Not to be outdone, I called Delta again and managed to switch myself back to the original flight. I figured that there is no way anybody was going to plough thru New York city and then switch over to New Jersey and make it in an hour and a half. The problem now, of course, was that I was on one flight and my bag was on another. Talked to the gate agent and she arranged to pull my bag out of the plane and keep it plane side.
I thought I had outsmarted Delta! Well, to spite me, Delta simply took one of the air hostesses from my (original and now current) flight and sent the 4:20 plane off. With me sitting near the gate. And the bag sitting plane side!!
Well, the good news was that my 5:41 flight left the gate on time – with me and the suitcase. We went to the head of the live runway and the pilot declared that there was an air space shutdown in Atlanta due to weather. So we sat there for 40 minutes. And then the pilot came back and said that the Atlanta shutdown had been lifted. Except now there was a airspace shutdown in Newark. Apparently Air Force Two was coming in. And instead of sitting on the tarmac, we were brought back to the gate.
Saw the Air Force Two for the second time in my life (first time was when Cheney was the VP).
Eventually, they declared that we would be boarding in 5 minutes. And then in the next minute it was further declared that our plane had a mechanical issue. And we would have to wait for another flight to come in and then we would be switched to that plane. My poor suitcase was yanked out one more time.
Even the Delta app gave up and said that our flight was somewhere “Nearby”!!
Finally, we did get a plane and I got another seat by the window. Which was a good thing. Because I could take a picture of the much-thrown-about suitcase being loaded as the first suitcase in the plane!!!