It would never be the start of a new year for me if I did not send my “I wish you enough” message like every year. Again, credits are to Larry who had “wished me enough” for the first time many years back.

“I wish you enough!”
By Bob Perks
I never really thought that I’d spend as much time in airports as I do. I don’t know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I’m not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.
I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to “hello” and “goodbye.”I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories for you.
I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.
Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.
On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, “How are you today?” I replied, “I am missing my wife already and I haven’t even said goodbye.”
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, “How long will you…Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!” We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.
But I learn from goodbye moments, too.
Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, “I love you. I wish you enough.” She in turn said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.”
They kissed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?”
“Yes, I have,” I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So I knew what this man experiencing.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?” I asked.
“I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral,” he said.
“When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, “I wish you enough.” May I ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.”When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he
were reciting it from memory.
“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”
He then began to sob and walked away.
—

My friends, I wish you enough!

Audience seating capacity is strictly set to one dog!!
I noticed something else – like in my running bouts, in my Tabla sessions too, just the shirt color changes – the poses remain pretty much the same in each picture 🙂

When they say that a device is not water resistant… apparently, they mean it!!! Who knew??? 😉 😉

The fervor of political posts from my FB friend is reaching a crescendo. I guess the election date must be around the corner? 🙂 Sometimes the irony in some of the arguments is very educational to me.

First, this is not a political post in the sense I am not going to suggest any one party/ candidate/ supporters is/are better than the other(s). I will want you to reflect on some of the fallacies of our arguments. This is where thoughtful reflections might help.

The one that has caught my notice lately is the bashing up of media in general.. Fox, MSNBC, NBC and such channels in particular. The core of the argument is the same – their reporting is biased. And therefore wrong and misleading. Regardless of whether you lean left and find Fox to be atrociously biased or you lean right and find MSNBC to be blindingly one-sided, the theme is the same – media is to be blamed for feeding us completely skewed views of events, words or policies.

Now let’s think for a second.

Suppose you are made the CEO of a media house – or you start your own media channel – assume somebody is funding it. What are you trying to achieve? Like it or not, you will realize that your job is no different than every other CEO – you are going to have to run it as a business and make money. That is what our capitalism is all about. I am going to not even get into what happens with media when it is run not with a capitalistic ambition but by (usually) the government. You certainly are aware of many countries where this happens.

But to get back to you being the CEO… you have suddenly realized that your media business needs to stay afloat and survive and grow as a business. So you ask yourself, how does the business make money? Sure, there are the subscriptions (although for the above channels – you can mostly get them free) and syndicated content but it will soon dawn upon you that the money comes from advertisers.

Your next question is how do you attract more advertisers? And then you realize that is all about eyeballs – getting people (like me and my friends) to come and watch your channel. But you also know every single media channel is trying to solve the same problem. That is the second construct of capitalism (the first being making profits) – competition.

Your challenge is very simple. Like every other CEO in every other business. You need to win in a segment of market. You cannot possible win everybody. But you need to deliver a loyal set of audience predictably to the advertisers.

And this is where you show your brilliance – this is why you became the CEO and not other aspirants to the job. You realize that people like hearing what they believe in already. If they believe that moon landing was a hoax, they will absolutely go to conferences that talks about moon landing being an elaborate fraud, they will watch a three hour program on TV late at night where “experts” “prove” that it was indeed a made up story, they will read up materials as long as its supports their belief. All that other data that proves that moon landing was for real – they will do a short shrift of that quickly – wrong data, partial data, conspiracy theories etc. etc.

It is that simple. You want to feed what a particular segment already is prone to believe in anyways and that way you get them to stay with you. You create a “safe” segment – pretty much like gerrymandering and then you keep feeding them the data they want to believe. And you laugh all the way to the bank for your brilliance.

So see, it is not the media that is the root cause of the challenge. It is that we, as human beings, are born with cognitive biases. In general, that is a good thing (else we would not have survived as a race). But we have those biases that get formed somewhat mysteriously and somewhat by our early experiences in life. And they change very very slowly – as we age, the change of beliefs become slower and slower.

As long as we have that cognitive bias (and we always will), we will always be attracted to one kind of news / interpretation and there will always be some channel willing to feed that to us. Some much more strongly than others. Again, just in gerrymandering, if you are in a “safe” red/blue district, you have to try to be redder/bluer than the nest red/blue competitor to stay ahead of the game.

To suddenly sit back and claim that we are all capable of making unbiased decisions – it is just that the media is giving us very biased info is absolutely ironic. And not born from a deep understanding on how we choose sides.

Choosing sides is deep in our limbic part of the brain. That is what we often call as “gut” feeling. Trying to reason out why we believe in something is the task of the cortical part of the brain. Additionally, limbic part of the brain does not have the faculty of language. That is what the cortical part does.

And the cortical part’s way of articulating “reasoning” what the limbic part believes in is to suggest that the side that believes like us are “reasonable” and the other side is “biased”. That makes both side of the brains stay in unison and we do not have to deal with an internal conflict that would gnaw into us.

Next time you find somebody on media saying something you absolutely do not believe in, step back first. Tell yourself that nothing has made you so unique and brilliant among 7 billion humans alive today. You are biased – like everybody else. Once you acknowledge that, maybe it will make hearing the other side of the story a lot more bearable.