… what I am moved by is not the fact that dogs keep marking their territory by peeing every twenty yards or so, but by the fact that they have enough foresight and bladder control to keep enough in reserve to keep doing so …
If I were to follow the same methodology, unfortunately, my kingdom would be a single, modest size blob on the ground 🙂
Laying down in bed, I made the mistake last night of checking Whatsapp. Sure enough, all the different groups were engaged in all sorts of political fights. One group – I think it was my MBA class group – or might be my engineering college hostel (dorm) group – was engaged in a discussion (I use the word mildly) about job creation in India under their favorite party’s rule.
Ever the sucker for factoids, I thought I should get a picture of what has been India’s overall job growth over a longer period of time – say two to three decades. So, I punched in “job growth in India” into Google search on my phone and this is what I got in my very first page results…
You cannot make these things up!! The articles by the same website were barely 20 days apart!!
I did the mental math. I had only two glasses of wine last night. So, it was not me.
I just put the phone back on the charger and went off to sleep.
Apparently, you folks have found a new organ in our body.
Let me get this straight – you have been performing surgery on us for over a hundred years – I mean literally cutting us open every which way – millions of us over the years – and sometimes even leaving knives and tools inside forcing you to cut us open again and NOW you say there might be another organ?????
What? The organ was playing hide and seek with you all these years or what?
No wonder you call your professions “practice” 🙂
P.S. This is a joke. Don’t take this seriously. I still need to visit you for all the known organs that hurt me 🙂
Here is a curious question for you: Have you EVER heard of anybody saying “I am a big time user of Facebook”?
I ask because I seem to always come across those who claim not to be big time user of Facebook.
Is this a similar case to most people thinking they are better than average in driving?
We, the poor Bengalis, have been denied of a “V” in our scripts. It is usually replaced with a “B”. Much to the chagrin of every non-Bengali! For all of you know, we were destined to be the “Vengalis” till God’s proofreader forgot to put in the letter “V” in our script! Other than that peculiar accent of ours, it can also land us in some very interesting situations – especially in a country like the USA.
For example, I recently overheard an indignant daughter yelling on her phone to her mother – “CVS? Why would you think I have applied for a job to CVS? I am studying Journalism, mother! I have applied to CBS. “C” “B” “S” – the news channel”.
“Oh”!, said the mother as I shimmied away to another room before I could be spotted overhearing the conversation.
I am not suggesting that this happened in our house.
But then again, I am not expressly denying it either 🙂
If you are going to kiss your wife goodbye before you go out on a motorbike ride, you are always well advised to kiss her before you wear the helmet; not after!
(From the School of Hard Knocks 🙂 )
[Yes, this is what I do if it rains when I am supposed to be motorbiking outside 🙂 ]
“Law of first reader advantage” STATES
The reader, upon reading a joke for the first time in his or her life, will immediately conclude that nobody else has ever heard that joke before ever.
“Corollary to the above law” (what is good for the goose is good for the geese) STATES
A reader, upon receiving a joke in one group, will immediately conclude that no other group has ever seen that joke before either.
“Law of overreaction” (Newton was wrong. Reaction is always greater than action) STATES
Upon such conclusion, the reader will venture to remove the world’s ignorance around that joke post haste by posting it to everybody with disproportionate haste.
“Law of false equivalency” STATES
What holds good for jokes holds good for hoaxes too.
“Law of positive correlation” STATES
Everything else remaining the same, more sensational the hoax, more gullible the reader will be. And faster the hoax will be posted to everybody else.
“Law of washing hands” STATES
When pulled up for spreading hoaxes, the reader will simply put a “Forwarded as received” disclaimer. Upon which the “Law of first reader advantage” will kick in.
Care to add some more of yours? 🙂
Finished up my day and sitting in my bed, tried to catch up on the highlights of the day. The first piece of news that caught my attention was that an Amtrak train full of politicians hit a truck today.
Apparently, one of them was carrying garbage. Decided to dig further to find out which one.
5.2 miles in 3 mins? That is over 100 miles per hour!!! 🙂 🙂
(For the serious minded, this is a glitch where Google Maps updates the time left but hangs on to the original distance)